can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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