Having a random hookup so left but love u
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
