I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
