I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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