they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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