pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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