JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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