i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
