Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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