you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
