ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
