The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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