the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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