I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
