Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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