we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
