aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
