Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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