And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All the doctor said was why
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
