I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
