took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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