Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
