i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Be still, my beating vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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