after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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