i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
