My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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