there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need to get me chipped asap
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
