i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
