I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
