We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
