i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
