you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
