I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
