mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Text me some of your sweat
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
