i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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