Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
