I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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