she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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