the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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