The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
