I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
