Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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