Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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