He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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