i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
