i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize