He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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