So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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