She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize