She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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