Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
