I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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