dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
