those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
