We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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