I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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