So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize