Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
