you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
