Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
