Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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