Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
