It's Friday. Sex?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize