It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
