Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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