Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
