I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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