You work out of a Hotel?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
