i don't like sucking hair
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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