if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
