This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
