So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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